Thank You God...

Taken from: Heavenly Humour Vol. One by George Ong.
Published in 2006.
Page 95-96

If God has an answering machine it would be like this...
Imagine praying and hearing this:
Thank you for calling My Father's House, Please select one of the following four options:
Press 1 for a request
Press 2 for a thanksgiving
Press 3 to complain
For all other inquiries, press 4.
So you press 1 and hear: "We're sorry. All of the angels are helping other customers right now. Please stay on the line. Your call will be answered in the order that it was received."

What would it be like if you heard the following response as you called God's answering machine?
"To receive the latest promotional gift with your order from paradise parlour, press 0, and an operator will assist you."
"To find out how many angels dance on the head of a pin, press 5."
"If you'd like for King David to sing a psalm for you, press 6."
"To find out if your relative is here, enter his/her date of death and listen for the list that follows."
"For reservation information or to confirm your reservations at My Father's House, press the letters J-O-H-N, followed by the numbers 3-1-6."
"To know what your pastor is doing at this moment, press 7."
"For answers to nagging questions about dinosaurs, the age of the earth and where Noah's Ark is, wait till you get here!"
"If you want to know what I think of world politics, don't press anything. Hang up and listen for laughter."
"Our computers show that you have already called once today. Please hang up immediately."
"This office is closed for the weekend. Please call again on Monday."

Thank God you can call Him often. You only need to ring once and He hears you. Because of Jesus, you never get a busy signal. God takes each call personally. He knows each caller personally. Then you will call and the Lord will answer; you will cry for help, ad he will say: "Here am I." (Isaiah 58:9) (Church Bulletin)