we serve You. not You serve us

yes... how many times most of us forget that we serve Him..and not He serves us... ;)

long holiday

yes! i am complaining that i am having way too long for holiday. this is just the beginning..cant imagine that i will be having a lot of this kind of holiday till i graduate *sigh* not that i dont like to have holiday, but if it is too long, it makes me think wierdly. and by the time school starts, i will be too lazy to do anything.

anyway.. i did some cleaning on my room (i also wonder the lazy me become hardworking in cleaning my room) i was clearing all the cards that i posted on my table. decided to change the way my table looks like (well, it looks very clean and empty without the cards) when i took out the cards, i took time to read again all the wishes in the card. and you know what... when i had packed everything, i started to cry. it's all tepen's fault for passing the melan virus to me *hmph*

well, to be honest.. i think i am in one of my lowest point of my life (yes! finally.. i admit it!) blame it to the long holiday that makes me think wierd things :P have been questioning myself a lot recently. somehow my future becomes blur.. seems like i dont know what i want to do anymore. i did question God.. what He really wants from me. my melan side controlled me for the past few days..

when i was packing the cards and photos, i was feeling lonely. i thank God that i didnt throw the cards away. somehow those cards gave me the encouragement. there was one card from sis claire saying that i am not alone, God is there to watch over me. the moment i read that card, i bursted into tears. out of so many cards, that card left a deep impression till now.

and now i just wanted to did something.. i wanted to give this message to these specific people...

melissa from jtband, clarinet section - hey girl! how are you? i was reading the bdae wish card that you gave me years back. *shrugs* i havent been a good sister yah.. well, wondering how you are doing now. must been doing good over in aussie yah.. do take care!

8 sisters - how are you all doing? i just sent mass sms to those of you who are in singapore. well, only 3 of u replied.. i met yati, audrey and ginny. wondering about the rest of you. especially RITA!!! you didnt pick up my call and didnt reply my sms. my dear, where are you? are you ok? *sigh* Astrid... when are you coming to singapore? Ratna.. sorry that i didnt meet you up when you were in singapore. my parents were here, so i neeeded to company them. wish you all the best in jakarta with your work. Yuri.. you are another girl whom i havent met for so long. what are you doing now? still busy with your clarinet?

ci ena - i still keep the small note that you gave me when i had exam. it was so sweet of you giving nass and me an exam package. with the greedy me, within 2 days, whatever inside the package was inside my stomach :P havent been catching up with you.. jia you for your work!!

SP -ISCF - i still kept the card from all of you for my birthday. and you know what.. it dated 2 years back..hahaha.. how time flied yah.. most of you who wrote in the card had graduated from sp. really thankful for each one of you.. and i still keep the present nicely in the box ;)

grace - my buket! hahahhaa.. how are you bu? the last time i saw you was when kak lena came to sg. it was also a brief moment. havent been catching up with you. i shall organize a meal with you and pat2 soon :) wait for my sms yah.. heheee..

christine limantoro - i still have the xmas wish card that you sent to me.. heee.. wondering where you are right now..we havent been meeting each other for a very long time. hopefully, one day, we will be able to meet up :)

etta - just met up with you last month. but still not enuff :P just chatted with you..and you were watching korean drama :P dont cry when you watch it yah..hahahaa..

yolla - havent received your reply. must be busy doing stuff in jakarta. so envy of you to get to travel again. *sigh* can i follow? i also want to travel!!! put me in your luggage? i promise i will lose weight :D

cassandra, fenny, jennifer, devi - i hope that i get the 4 of u right from the card. lol. it was a 17th bdae card from the four of you. i noe devi, cassan dan fenny are still in singapore.. and jennifer still in usa? well..do take care yah all of you...

fenny, mel, wenda, yudi - my long lost irc friends :P all of you now are in aussie? well.. how are you all? hope all of you are doing great :)

N215 - a card made by rach. thank you for giving me a great family... :)

did i miss anyone? hopefully not.. hahaa.. STM (short-term memory)... i just didnt want to take the cards out again from the box :P (not lazy lah..just that..erer..later cry how?)
better go now.. have been in front of the laptop for too long. i better rest my eyes.. *ciaoz*

swollen face

extracted 4 wisdom teeth on thursday. the gums were swollen so i had difficulty in eating. have to eat plain porridge for the next few days :( the good news is that.. i can eat ice cream as much as i can. but then.. can only eat those plain ice cream..not with the fillings :(
okie.. i better take my medicine now.. see ya all! ciaoz!

something to share...

havent been updating my blog.. my parents are in singapore since saturday.. so i have been busy companying them..well, beside that.. i managed to meet marietta on friday and also went to the International Nite 2006 on saturday. shall share some photos of the events with you all.. oh yah.. i also went to bukit timah hill for hiking with my parents.. it was a great experience.. but.. it would be more fun in indonesia, as the venue changes every week. well, in bukit timah hill, you have a fixed route. that's the difference... kind of lost my patience during international nite 06.. after the whole event.. the alumni were waiting there for nothing.. okok..we were waiting for andrew to go for supper.. ehh.. wait.. i have no idea who we were waiting for :P anyway.. what i wanted to share was that.. the organizer didnt really clear up the whole place. at first, wei hong and some of the guys started to help up in moving the chairs away. then..wei hong helped to take off the balloons at the back.. even at that time, the organizers and helpers didnt get the hint at all. so when wei hong used a pencil to burst the balloons, i got frustrated and told the rest of the alumni that we better did something if we did not want to wait till tomorrow morning. so in the end, we bursted all the balloons and cleared up the rubbsih.. which didnt take us 1/2 hour to do all that. and even in the end, no1 seemed like got the hint.. *shrugs* alumni went there to clear up the place... and wait till u ask me about the whole event.. we didnt get a good seat! *shrug* okieee..better stop my compalaining here.. before i ended saying every details of everything :P

Messy-hair Me and My Father @ Bukit Timah

My Mother and Sweating Me @ Bukit Timah

The Alumni of ISClub

The 3 Pretty Ladies

Brillyan and Mee Ling during International Nite 06 @ NP

Brillyan and Yi Shyuan during International Nite 2006 @ NP

Etta, Metta and Brillyan @ Paragon's Toilet

do you call this art? :P

Brillyan and Marietta @ Heeren

Well.. gotta to go.. going to have my 4 wisdom teeth extracted later.. a bit scared :$ ciaoz!

superman returns!

watched 'superman returns' at cineleisure with the guys just now. hm.. didnt really like the movie.. but love the actor though. he was a handsome man!! well, i agreed that i paid just to watch the handsome actor, not for the movie. hahhaaa..i just cant believe the ending :P well, some of lines that they used sounded like they took it from the Bible hahaha.. but of course! superman is not human's saviour!

anyway.. still doing my assignment at this hour. i am sleepy *yawnz*

a word in season

sis claire shared about disappointment in cell group meeting todae. well, word in season yah... just had disappointment with a person this week. but thank God that everything is okie now... :)

in the end...

FINALLY!!! i have made a decision.. hahhaaa.. i just have to share this first before i can concentrate in my assignment..

what decision? yup.. about the matter that had been bothering me since the beginning of arts and our world class. i decided not to be bothered by the matter anymore. since she is more comfortable with her new friend, then let her be. is not that i cant live without her in my life. is not that i dont call her my friend anymore. but if there is a level of friendship, she is just been downgraded by me in my life! :P (do i sound so mean?)

well, i learnt to this decision as today i experienced something. i decided to have lunch together with them. but, it was a mistake, even though i thought that i gave myself a chance. throughout the journey, i just didnt enjoy it. i felt so lonely and uncomfortable. they were talking things that i just couldnt understand. in the end, i was there to watch the scenary. it had been sometimes since i passed bukit merah area :P

but through this experience, i learnt things. like what i told a friend of mine, there is a time when you know who your true friends are. and also i told her that, surely beside you, there are people who care for you, is just whether you want to open your eyes to see them or not. you might say that no one cares for you, but those friends beside you have been trying to be there for you. well... must really open our eyes big big :)

some of you might be wondering, why i bother about friendship thingy so much. well.. now you know me more..! ;) i am the person who really think hard about friendship. in my life, my 1st priority is God, then family and then friends. even if i have boyfriend, i might still put my priority more to my friends, cause i know that they stand by me no matter what happens. well, thank God, for me, i dont need to fight between boyfriend and friends huahuaaa..(that's 1 thing abt being single :P)

i wanna take this chance to thank my princess (i am not les :P).. thank you for answering my call and listening to me just now. it felt great after letting everything out to you. love ya!! also want to thank my friend who is so faaaarrrr in surabaya. thanks for replying my sms... miss ya and love ya!

better go back to my assignment now.. *ciaoz*

...what i should do...

after attended the IGCF exco's meeting just now, it strucked me back about my ministry. on the way home, i was thinking that i havent done a good job! *shrugs*

what i need to do now is to really sit down and evaluate my ministry. and really plan what i should do for the next step. like what Pst Kong has always share, never plan means you plan to fail. i guess now is the time.. especially after exam this saturday i will have a lot of time, since it is holiday..

anyone wants to sit down with me? lol.. i am the person who need someone to do it together with me. if i do it alone, i would do it halfway and will never finish it :P well, time to force myself to sit down and really think about it.

jia you brillyan!

for all my friends!

what is my vision?

the message by Pst Tan YP duing the weekend service was powerful! it was really a great way to end the service in Hall 1 for the pas 4 weeks. As what Xuelin said to the cg members, moving back to hall 8 means we are moving to another level. i really cant wait to go there next week!anyway, before i get too excited, i shall share more things with you all.

"A man without vision is a man without future." how would you respond to that? :P well, i am totally agreeeee! everyone of us has a vision of what we will be in the future.

listening to the message.. it made me thinking again.. what is my vision? so many things that i want to do.. but everytime, half way, i always gave up. that is so bad! as what sis jiaying shared for the cell grp on thurs, commitment comes first and the promotion. if i cant commit myself to the vision, how i am supposed to do greater things for God? so.. what is important now is to find back the vision from God and really commit myself to the vision.

i had a vision from God yesterday. the flash of picture of 2 hands holding each other in my mind has been 'disturbing' me for a lot of time. usually, i would just put that picture aside as i thought that i was just too desperate to hold some1's hand.. uahuahuaa.. but God showed me another thing. i finally understand what He was trying to say. He wanted to tell me that He wants to work together with me. the other hand that i am holding is His hand. He wants to walk and work together with me. it made me realise that how many time i had walked alone. depending on my own strength. i had totally forgotten that there was someone there who had been wanting to share things with me. i gues.. i have learnt my lesson.

anyway.. going to update the cell group's blog.. so.. going now.. *ciaoz*